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hi there. its been probably like a year since /actually blogging/ in this spot. or any spot i guess because i am a serial procrastinator and get bored way too easily. heres some photos from the section of my life that has not been documented on the internet, or well, at least not on a blog. blog or it didnt happen. ha

essie nail polish manihiley hiccups melting dog faceme and my sunshine cruiser bike

carousel cowgirlroadtrip to socal coffee stopdisneyland!

rocketship or car?midsummer nights dreamin' in the treesflowers at school

Posted at 1:04pm and tagged with: tile, my life, wrap, photos, instagram, me, one column,.

Today is January the 9th, 2014. 2014….. can you believe it?! I guess this post is late however the year hasn’t changed yet, it is only a week after that fateful day, and I’ve been doing a little reflecting on the resolution tradition. here we go. 

I want to take more pictures again. I want to get a proper lens. I want to create things. I want to be more fit. I want to be a better person. I want to be a better girlfriend. I want want want want to do these things. but how?

There’s ideas like that old money jar chestnut where you tip yourself for being good, but really what do you gain from that? does it work? chances are for me, it wont. There’s the reward for achieving what you set out to accomplish, but it just always seems too far away to even start taking that first step towards your goal. Call me self defeating, call me realistic. 

New years resolutions never work because people always want to be the greatest version of themselves they can be, but dont want to put forth the effort, myself included. So this year, I’m not gonna make a list of a thousand things I need to do better or change, I’m just going to try and be more conscious of myself and how I spend my time. 

Mostly, as I embark on my third semester of college, I want to try and narrow down where I want my education to lead. I want to feel like I am heading toward a career that I will enjoy and will support me throughout my life. I want to be challenged and interested. I want to be active in my life, and make sure that I don’t let myself go as the time ticks on. 

This year, this is the reward, not the resolution. I can do what makes me happy while fulfilling all of these wants in the process. I just want to feel like me again. 

Posted at 12:06pm and tagged with: resolution, life, new year, reflection,.

Tonight was bittersweet. Somewhere between dining by torchlight with a perfect view of the bay, and watching the fireflies dance in the dark, I felt this longing for him to be here with me. Parts of being in Yelapa - out in the jungle next to the bay - there is a certain potential for romance that I just wish we could share. Someday, perhaps.

I love it here in Yelapa, but in a way I also can’t wait to see him again when I return. I miss my psycho boyfriend… Who is this person I have become?!

crossing my fingers I don’t get eaten by the mapache in my sleep …the mapache ate me baybeeee! I bet that would go over great in the civilized, non-jungle world. Oh, I saw a monkey and a scorpion today too. I also saw the scorp die by broom handle. Those are the creepiest little things I have ever seen. Bleh. Monkey was neat though. Maybe he will tag team with the mapache and eat me in my sleep too. He can have my toes. Yum.

Posted at 9:44pm and tagged with: life, travel, yelapa, relationships, romance, love, lust, guys, mexico,.

Tonight was bittersweet. Somewhere between dining by torchlight with a perfect view of the bay, and watching the fireflies dance in the dark, I felt this longing for him to be here with me. Parts of being in Yelapa - out in the jungle next to the bay - there is a certain potential for romance that I just wish we could share. Someday, perhaps.
I love it here in Yelapa, but in a way I also can’t wait to see him again when I return. I miss my psycho boyfriend… Who is this person I have become?!
crossing my fingers I don’t get eaten by the mapache in my sleep  …the mapache ate me baybeeee!  I bet that would go over great in the civilized, non-jungle world. Oh, I saw a monkey and a scorpion today too. I also saw the scorp die by broom handle. Those are the creepiest little things I have ever seen. Bleh. Monkey was neat though. Maybe he will tag team with the mapache and eat me in my sleep too. He can have my toes. Yum.

"If it’s too hot in the kitchen, get out."
Did he really just say that? Did he really? He did. His dad was wrong, and now he was wrong too.

Looking around the cafe while sitting next to this blowhard spout on and on about photo equipment and misinterpreted idioms. Am I the only one hearing this drivel? The lady across from me at the other table looks up for a moment. Her stare, blank, flicking wildly around. Wide eyes with nothing behind them. She looks back down, taking my thoughts that she had also been eavesdropping down with her gaze. 

If It’s too hot in the kitchen, get out. And out I slipped to meet the morning ocean breeze, cleansing me back to a place of ignorance and bliss. 

Posted at 10:28pm and tagged with: opinion, personal, life, thoughts, cafe, morning, stupid, why is everyone so fucking stupid, one column,.

Drew this up from some tuneskies I’ve been liking alot lately.

I’ve kinda been on this slowish, more “sentimental” for lack of a better term, song kick. I don’t really know why exactly, musical phases are not to be understood. Just enjoyed.
Enjoy.

  1. Falling - The Lumineers
  2. Interlude: Moving On - Paramore
  3. The Good Good (ft. iza) - Snoop Lion
  4. I Know Places - Lykke Li
  5. Wedding Song - The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
  6. In The Lost & Found (Honky Bach) - Elliott Smith
  7. Lonely Old Lies - Neko Case
  8. Ghosting - Mother Mother
  9. Honey I Been Thinking About You - Jackie Greene
  10. Nightmares - Sallie Ford & the Sound Outside

Posted at 12:40am and tagged with: music, playlist, songs, the lumineers, neko case, sallie ford and the sound outside, sallie ford, jackie greene, mother mother, elliott smith, the yeah yeah yeahs, lykke li, paramore, snoop lion, random,.

Drew this up from some tuneskies I’ve been liking alot lately.
I’ve kinda been on this slowish, more “sentimental” for lack of a better term, song kick. I don’t really know why exactly, musical phases are not to be understood. Just enjoyed.  Enjoy.
Falling - The Lumineers
Interlude: Moving On - Paramore
The Good Good (ft. iza) - Snoop Lion
I Know Places - Lykke Li
Wedding Song - The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
In The Lost & Found (Honky Bach) - Elliott Smith
Lonely Old Lies - Neko Case
Ghosting - Mother Mother
Honey I Been Thinking About You - Jackie Greene
Nightmares - Sallie Ford & the Sound Outside

Initially, when reading this book, the author and main character, Gretchen, come across very Pollyanna. Ultra normal, controlling, unrealistic, helicopter parent, the kind of mother that carries bandaids and polysporin everywhere, alone with PB&J sammies with the crusts cut off in her bag of infinite wonders. This was the Gretchen that came across in the novel, at least at the start. As I read on, she does start to seem more real than at the start. She yells, she gets fed up with her kids, she doesnt always follow through on her various tasks. This brought her closer to me as a reader, instead of putting herself on a pedestal with a picturesque lifestyle and family where nothing ever goes awry. 

As Gretchen began to feel closer as a character, her happiness project did as well. I realized that my dislike for Gretchen at the start was not making me any happier with myself and my own life, and while I later felt closer to her when I saw her various flaws, without those flaws I had no reason not to like her either. So why did I? What about her at the beginning - as a picture perfect mother and person - threatened me to the point of disliking her? Why did I even care? It’s not like I even knew this woman, or that she had any effect on my life whatsoever. I read on…

I found that, in short, she wasn’t the cause of my dislike for her, I was just projecting my own unhappiness with my various flaws and insecurities onto her since she seemed so perfect at the start. She seemed to have everything figured out that I struggled with. She was a super woman at all the things I sucked at. But resenting the author of this novel for finding her own happiness was not adding to my own. 

So, through a relatively unconventional response to this novel, my distaste for Gretchen caused some sort of self reflection that helped me to stop comparing my life and my self to others. I have to make myself happy through my own accomplishments, and by learning to like Gretchen, I learned to like myself a little more too. 

Posted at 1:33pm and tagged with: cult, book, books, the happiness project, gretchen rubin, i read this book, lit, literature, novel, book review,.

Cruisin’ back to the city from Marin. Got this sweet little nightstand thing for my room off of craigslist. The woman had all this neat cottage farmhouse style furniture, I think she made it or distressed it as a hobby or something, such a beautiful home. I could never live in the burbs though, so stepford wives robo mom style. I would have a mental breakdown due to not having a beach around or some place to go aside from the end of the block. 

I could, however, live in a small town or something so long as it has a beach. Somewhere like Pacifica on the hill, or Big Sur and its dreamy woodsy feel. Bliss. I love the city though, I can’t imagine myself leaving for at least a little while longer. 

photo by mersie, golden gate bridge southbound, 4/13/13 

Posted at 9:17am and tagged with: full width, bridge, golden gate bridge, bay area, san francisco, sf, ggbridge, golden gate, stars, hipster, galaxy, galactic, photo, light, light leak, pretty, pink, sky, purple, nebula,.

Cruisin’ back to the city from Marin. Got this sweet little nightstand thing for my room off of craigslist. The woman had all this neat cottage farmhouse style furniture, I think she made it or distressed it as a hobby or something, such a beautiful home. I could never live in the burbs though, so stepford wives robo mom style. I would have a mental breakdown due to not having a beach around or some place to go aside from the end of the block. 
I could, however, live in a small town or something so long as it has a beach. Somewhere like Pacifica on the hill, or Big Sur and its dreamy woodsy feel. Bliss. I love the city though, I can’t imagine myself leaving for at least a little while longer. 
photo by mersie, golden gate bridge southbound, 4/13/13