A Quarter for your Owl Eyes
A Quarter for your Owl Eyes
"If it’s too hot in the kitchen, get out."
Did he really just say that? Did he really? He did. His dad was wrong, and now he was wrong too.
Looking around the cafe while sitting next to this blowhard spout on and on about photo equipment and misinterpreted idioms. Am I the only one hearing this drivel? The lady across from me at the other table looks up for a moment. Her stare, blank, flicking wildly around. Wide eyes with nothing behind them. She looks back down, taking my thoughts that she had also been eavesdropping down with her gaze.
If It’s too hot in the kitchen, get out. And out I slipped to meet the morning ocean breeze, cleansing me back to a place of ignorance and bliss.
Drew this up from some tuneskies I’ve been liking alot lately.
I’ve kinda been on this slowish, more “sentimental” for lack of a better term, song kick. I don’t really know why exactly, musical phases are not to be understood. Just enjoyed.
Initially, when reading this book, the author and main character, Gretchen, come across very Pollyanna. Ultra normal, controlling, unrealistic, helicopter parent, the kind of mother that carries bandaids and polysporin everywhere, alone with PB&J sammies with the crusts cut off in her bag of infinite wonders. This was the Gretchen that came across in the novel, at least at the start. As I read on, she does start to seem more real than at the start. She yells, she gets fed up with her kids, she doesnt always follow through on her various tasks. This brought her closer to me as a reader, instead of putting herself on a pedestal with a picturesque lifestyle and family where nothing ever goes awry.
As Gretchen began to feel closer as a character, her happiness project did as well. I realized that my dislike for Gretchen at the start was not making me any happier with myself and my own life, and while I later felt closer to her when I saw her various flaws, without those flaws I had no reason not to like her either. So why did I? What about her at the beginning - as a picture perfect mother and person - threatened me to the point of disliking her? Why did I even care? It’s not like I even knew this woman, or that she had any effect on my life whatsoever. I read on…
I found that, in short, she wasn’t the cause of my dislike for her, I was just projecting my own unhappiness with my various flaws and insecurities onto her since she seemed so perfect at the start. She seemed to have everything figured out that I struggled with. She was a super woman at all the things I sucked at. But resenting the author of this novel for finding her own happiness was not adding to my own.
So, through a relatively unconventional response to this novel, my distaste for Gretchen caused some sort of self reflection that helped me to stop comparing my life and my self to others. I have to make myself happy through my own accomplishments, and by learning to like Gretchen, I learned to like myself a little more too.
Cruisin’ back to the city from Marin. Got this sweet little nightstand thing for my room off of craigslist. The woman had all this neat cottage farmhouse style furniture, I think she made it or distressed it as a hobby or something, such a beautiful home. I could never live in the burbs though, so stepford wives robo mom style. I would have a mental breakdown due to not having a beach around or some place to go aside from the end of the block.
I could, however, live in a small town or something so long as it has a beach. Somewhere like Pacifica on the hill, or Big Sur and its dreamy woodsy feel. Bliss. I love the city though, I can’t imagine myself leaving for at least a little while longer.
On a roadtrip to the stars, BRB.
wanderlust kicking in. my toes miss their place on the dashboard.
There’s been so much on my mind lately, sometimes it helps to write things down and look back later to see how dumb you sound and how foolish your thoughts were. Sometimes it works in your favor and you think “dayumm girl, you so smart and talented and good at life” ….generally speaking, not the case.
I am actually not a hater, I just find some things strange and outrageous for little reason other than they are strange and outrageous and I don’t understand. Hence, this list.